I'll tumbl for you...

So I have to say that tonight I’m the most homesick than I’ve been in quite a while. It’s this really weird thing. I miss Michigan. Lansing, specifically: not because it’s where I’m from, but because it’s where I really feel I’m supposed to be. Now I don’t regret coming down here for grad school for a single moment, and I have amazing friends here, but take tonight for instance: I was out at karaoke, and there were at least 5 times that something happened that I wanted to text people at home and tell them (which is annoying a) because they’re an hour ahead, and 2) it’s getting old, me sending nonsense sentimental texts to people all the time). Or last weekend, when throwing a surprise birthday party for a dear friend of mine, I didn’t know how to start making a playlist because I couldn’t count on Motown Philly, Rama Lama, or Don’t Stop Believin as everyone’s favorite. So I’m here getting a master’s degree, and truthfully all the while I’m thinking: what can I do with these skills/this knowledge when I move back to Lansing? Which is crazy, because really what can I do with this degree in Lansing MI? But still, I’m hoping against hope I’ll have a really good reason to come back home. For those who know me, you know all I want is a reason to plant strong roots. And I was just starting to have that when on an impulse I applied, auditioned for, and ended up moving 8 hours away for school. And it was a necessity for me at that point— this time last year was absolutely ridiculous, I was losing who I was. But they say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone— and if this is what it’s taken for me to know, then it was good. Doing this was good for me on many levels, actually; prove that I can go somewhere on my own and make it, prove that I can stand on my own two feet without anything or anyone familiar, etc… And I’m doing that. When I’m done here, I can say I’ve done that. I’ve never had to prove myself like this before, and I’m so so SO very grateful for the opportunity to really find myself, and understand who I am. But at what cost? I’m missing so much that’s happening with the people that trully mean the most to me. So I guess what I’m saying is, that you guys in Lansing are my people. You’re my home. And certainly not to downplay the amazing friends I’ve met here in Carbondale, but I just miss that community, that sense of being with people who really know, get, and appreciate you. And I’m just waiting for that opportunity to come home.