I'll tumbl for you...

It’s days like today when I feel like I don’t have enough time in the day to be the musician I want to be.

My jazz/pop ensemble hosted a jazz vocalist today, giving a scat-singing workshop/demo. As we talked briefly about the history of jazz, and some of the foundations, I realized that I wish I knew more about it. Now, I have jazz recordings on my laptop (mostly vocal), and I played in jazz bands for years. I appreciate it. I love a good jazz band concert. But I’m in no way an expert in specific vocal jazz technique. And my jazz/blues theory is pretty rusty.

I love directing this choir. I have some really talented students, and we’re having fun making music. But jazz isn’t my forte, or my specialty. I was thinking, during the workshop, about how I should do more listening to jazz. Do more analysis of jazz. Then, as my brain started to wander (which it always does when I listen to jazz— that’s one of my favorite things about it. How you can completely lose yourself in the music without disconnecting from what’s happening around you) about how I was more fluent in opera (rep, history, etc). About how I wish I were a more adequate church choir director.

I’ve always prided myself on being a well-rounded musician. It’s been my goal along not to be a one-trick pony. But I feel like the more I hold on to this attitude, the more I become a jack of all trades but a master of none. The truth is, I’m a musical theatre singer. My true passion, and talent, lies in that medium.

That being said, I do need to take more time in my life to keep learning, to keep studying music. Because I love being a student. I really do. It’s just hard, obviously, to keep that motivation up when you’re not being graded, and not trying to earn credit toward a degree. I think I need to set some kind of goal for myself. I need to learn something new each week— like research an opera, do some score study on a piece for church, or analyze a jazz chart. This along with learn to play piano, I need to get right back on that bus.